The Feisty Fontan

As we all know, the universe giveth and the universe taketh away. After a whole lot of take this past year, the universe decided to cut me a break and it dropped an amazing person into the middle of my life.

I have met a cute nurse. Now, before you start to wonder, we did not meet because I was his patient. Mentioning that he is a nurse is only important because the aspects of who he is that made him chose that profession are also traits that him make a fantastic boyfriend (especially for me).

First, I wasn’t even ready to date. But then, let’s take a minute and think a little bit about what dating would be like for me…I’m 38 and getting divorced. Two things that already make dating suck butts. Now, add in trying to explain to a random stranger about my heart problem and then how my heart problem has somehow given me liver disease AND a GI disorder. Maybe I should bring my oxygen tank along on the date? Impress him with my handicapped parking permit? I know; I’ll talk about the crazy diet I’m on…. guys love hearing about girls’ diets! Honestly, none of that sounds like fun for anyone. Needless to say, I was pretty unsure and hesitant about welcoming anyone new into the chaos of my life and thought the universe just had another cruel trick up its sleeve.

However, I soon realized that the person the universe sent me wasn’t fazed by all that stuff and somehow found me charming enough to think that dealing with my medical crap would be worth it. Despite my fears, I recognized that it would be pretty dumb of me to turn down the gift of a cute nurse.

My mom was with me the week that I met him; a week filled with so much texting that my thumbs still hurt. She said it was like someone flipped the light on inside me and turned my smile back on.

I don’t need the kind of “caretaker” that reminds me to take my meds or helps me get out of the shower; I am more than capable of doing those things. I need someone who won’t make me feel guilty if the only date I’m capable of that day is cuddling while binge watching Parks and Rec. I need someone who doesn’t mind snot on their shirt when I cry on their shoulder.  I need someone that would want to stay up until 3:00 am with me when my symptoms make it hard for me to sleep. I need someone who doesn’t make me feel like hanging out with me is a burden.

So, in the short time we’ve been together he has proven to be an excellent caretaker, but it has nothing to do with him being a nurse and everything to do with just who he is as a person. It’s hard to explain to someone who doesn’t understand how epic my stubbornness is, but his calming demeanor manages to keep my irrational stubbornness in check. He is supportive without being overbearing and encouraging without being condescending. He can calm my crazy and smooth out my rough edges while still letting all my feistiness and quirkiness shine.

Because he is so amazing, and I don’t want him to get engulfed in the flames of my dumpster fire, I have actually tried to talk him out of this quite a few times. I have shared all the gory details, warned him of all the challenges and struggles and laid out every worst-case scenario. I have made him research my whole list of medical diagnoses. As a nurse he has an educated understanding of what he’s getting himself into and he’s still on board.

I am still in the middle of the most challenging part of my life to date. My past experiences, and general common sense, had me convinced that there was not a soul on the planet that would want to get involved with my crazy at this point in the game. My cute nurse, who also manages to be a good fit for me in a million tiny ways, is probably the only one out there who would want a piece of what I’m offering. I’m just thankful that the universe allowed our paths to cross when they did. Regardless of what the future holds for us, the patience, love and support that he has given me (especially considering that we were complete strangers until recently) has made this chapter of my life so much easier to handle. He brought me my joy back and that alone is an amazing gift.  Somehow thru all the taking away the universe ended up giving me exactly what I needed.