The Feisty Fontan

Congrats; you’ve survived two months of being legally bound to my medical mayhem! As we stood in that gazebo, you became more than just my husband. You officially became the next of kin of a chronically ill person; the person viewed as my primary caregiver, the person who would be responsible for making medical decisions for me if I can’t make them for myself. Talk about some serious responsibility.

This is not an easy job. Lesser men have tried and failed. Not just with me personally, but the world is filled with stories about spouses/significant others who couldn’t handle the stress of caring for a chronically ill partner. A husband that leaves after his wife has a double mastectomy. A fiancée that calls off the wedding after her betrothed becomes paralyzed in a car accident.

I’m gonna be honest; when you showed up in my life, I was pretty sure that once you really learned and experienced the depths of my medical mayhem you would want out. That fear was not based on anything you did or didn’t do; it was just based on common sense and life experience. Seriously, how many men out there, especially full time single dads with high stress jobs, would think that dating a woman who will probably end up on the heart transplant list would be a fun thing to add to their already full plate? I doubt that many people list “Must have own oxygen tank, a rainbow-colored pill collection, your cardiologist on speed dial and growing medical debt” under the “Ideal Mate” section of their dating profile.

But I was wrong. It may be an overly dramatic analogy, but you’re kinda like the firefighter who runs into a burning building to save people without thinking about the risks to himself. You jumped headfirst into love with me without regard to how the ripple effects of my health could shake up all aspects of your life. You remained steadfast and impervious to my attempts to talk you out of loving me and continued to give me the kind of love and happiness that I’ve never had nor thought I would ever have. You welcomed my heavy baggage into your house and slid a diamond ring on my slightly blue and always cold finger.

So, I know that we’ve said our vows and made lifelong promises to each other already. But, given the additional and unique challenges that marrying someone with a serious chronic medical condition can bring, and given the unwavering commitment you’ve always showed me, I feel like I owe you some more promises. So, here they are:

• I promise that my medical issues will cause you to miss things like your sister’s birthday dinner or your daughter’s chorus recital. I promise that last minute doctor appointments and emergency room visits will always seem to happen at the most inconvenient times. I promise that your kids, your sister and brother in law and other people in your life, will be impacted by the surprises that my health will bring into your life.
• I promise that some years we will have zero disposable income because we will be throwing every extra cent we can at medical bills.
• I promise that every trip we plan or event that we are excited about will come with a worry that my health could put a damper on our fun. I promise that I’ll know that you won’t care if that does happen, but I promise that I’ll still worry.
• I promise that being my husband will come with moments of fear, worry, stress, anxiety, frustration and even doubt. I know that every marriage comes with these moments, but I will offer you a 100% money back guarantee that I will provide you with at least double the amount of these moments than any wife that has something as boring as a regular four chambered heart would.
• I promise that I will never ever, not even for a split second, take for granted the love, support, commitment, and happiness you give me.
• I promise that I will be thankful everyday that I get to experience the kind of love you and the kids give me.
• I promise that I will fight with every cell in my body and every breath I have to get every second of time I can have with you and the kids.
• I promise that my heart, whether they patchwork this one up again or replace it with a better version, will always be filled to the brim with love for you.
• I promise that I will always be a cheesy, mushy, sappy, sweaty-eyed dork when it comes to my love for you.

We are both aware that there is a lot of uncertainty on the road ahead. In fact, the only thing we are certain of is that there are going to be some scary and serious things that my health will gift to us. Thank you for loving me enough and being brave enough and strong enough to join the crazy circus of my medical mayhem. And thank you for providing me with a 100% money back guarantee that you will love me to the end.

Signed with love from my,

Backwards, Mended, Battery Operated Heart

Scarred and Wavy Liver

Protein Losing Digestive Tract

All the other wonky and malfunctioning parts of me